LessThanHumble.com

You know, it is a funny world. I’ve mentioned it a few times on here, and talk about it frequently in person, but there’s a dispute between my former employer and me over a number of things. I would bore the world with the details, but I will identify some of the more humorous points back to him (in public plain view):
Dear Old Employer,
1) I got an e-mail from a good friend of mine that I do a little bit of business with now and I am sure quiet a bit in the future. I won’t identify him, but what I find funny is that this particular friend also does business with my old employer, and subsequently communicates with him every so often. What is even funnier, is that this old employer in this particular e-mail), went out of his way to bad mouth me, not that I particularly care, but oh well. This employer dug up some old message board posts about me from a few disgruntled customers (which I should note, most of which are currently customers, more than this company could dare say) and forwarded them on to my friend. Now I really don’t care that he’s badgering me, if it were coming from anyone else I would be insulted, but coming from him, such a tainted source, I just find it funny, in a sick, demented, way. He then has the odacity to claim he fulls “duped” and wish he had seen these posts before he had hired me. Now for those of you who know me in person, you probably do now that I work my ass off, I’ll give the shirt off of my back for anyone that’s never purposely screwed me, and as much as a asshole as I can be, I’ll take care of you. On top of that, I bust my ass in everything I do, and always put in a full effort into what I do. Whether it is a job I dislike, a project I groan about, or a company I despise. I busted my ass for this employer, and now they feel duped? The only reason you should then feel duped, is for your sheer stupidity in the fact you are unable to run your company, don’t know shit about technology, how technology works in real world applications, how to take care of customers, or how to make money without flat out overcharging and ripping people off. You shouldn’t feel duped because worked for you for a year, busted my ass, stayed when I was trying to quit, not just once, but twice, and did not even leave with a bad attitude.

2) Make whatever unfounded assumptions that you want, in reality, your business is going down the drain, and as I write this, I’m sure you’re sitting up, freaking out because you don’t know what to do. You’ve already fired most of your good employees, jacked up your pricing sky high, scared of good paying quality customers because you couldn’t fuck them for that extra $25 a month on top of the $750 they were already paying you. Remember, this isn’t long term life insurance, this is technology, there’s a 1,000 different companies doing what you’re doing, making the same stupid misconceptions, and running their 1,000 different companies into the ground, burning up the time of their employees, and really screwing over their customer bases.

3) A contract is a bi-lateral agreement. When you write a contract that clearly benefits you more than the other party, it isn’t a contract, it’s a piece of paper, with some signatures on it, that says you can attempt to screw the other person.

4) I have heard your loyalists (particularly a naive relative of mine) say things like you’ve got “fuck you money”, well I’m sure you have deeper pockets than mine, but I’ll tell you something, I’ve got “fuck you stamina”, and no matter what you do, I’ll be like Oscar De Lahoya, and keep poppin back up for more without veering out of sheer honesty and integrity let alone breaking a single law.

5) Keep canning your best employees, it has seemed to work for you so far. While you’re at it though, make sure you micro-manage everything like you do now and are able to keep up. After you burn out your heart, your family, and just about hit AARP eligibility (in what, like 8 years?) and then find out you have serious medical issues, don’t go walking to anyone looking for sympathy, because unlike the average bustin-their-ass-person that is in the same position as you medical wise, they got there with glory, and you got there screwing people - it’s as clear as possible.

6) I used to have a bit of respect for you. I’ll be honest, I naturally brown nose people a bit just to keep everything friendly, but en then I did have a little respect for you. It wasn’t because I could see through your sheer fakeness when you were “coaching” me or any other person on a topic that you’re no-where near an authority on (such as families, let alone anything revolving around technology), but mainly because of your persistence. You did appear to bust your ass every once and a while, and I always have a great amount of respect for hardworkers, but the thing of it was, and the only reason I can only really give you half credit, is that you required everyone else to do it also. You don’t lead people by dragging them on their feet, you lead people by showing them the way with a smile on your face, a check in your hand, and some guidelines to get everyone through it.

7) In reality, you don’t know everything and you didn’t get everywhere in life - facts are facts. I don’t care where you came from, what organizations your kids are involved with, or that your neighbor next door was a professional tennis player and you think they’ve got an “in” on some “big deals” at a local resort they teach tennis at. There’s a lot to learn in life, and although I do believe it is possible to posess the mental capacity to know more than other humans (not all humans), that does not mean you have to belittle or disrespect them. You should treat them as humans, expect a fair level of treatment back, and realize that no one is perfect, no one knows everything, and that your “to-the-point-approach” isn’t a to-the-point-approach, it is merely a scape goat for you trying to show you’re better than everyone else. It is obvious that at one point or another in your life, probably highschool, you were made fun of, and I truly apologize for that, but drop your anger at the rest of the world and do something productive, treat your employees well, and get a life - you need it.

8) I know you sent out a company wide memo stating that no employee could talk to me on duty or off (I won’t even question the sheer stupidity, let alone legitimacy of that), but to can a employee because of the fact they looked at my account a few times when I was an active customer and rebooted a few of my servers for me, does not mean they were leaking information out. Unlike you, I am an honest person and wouldn’t dare trying to pry info out of a current employee at the risk of jepordizing their job. But hey, it is okay, because the guy you figured I’m sure will find an outstanding job, making more money, for a larger company, with better benefits, less bullshit, that actually appreciates their employees.

9) Oh, and for everyone of those times when I pulled an all nighter and then drove two hours back home the next day just to finish up this or that stupid projects, and you and I went to lunch but you didn’t buy me lunch, ya, screw you for every single one of those times.

So on the flip side of it all, although I’m sure I could break the law and cause harm to this company in three seconds flat, I won’t dare, because Mr. Duche-Bag-Old-Employer-that-is-reading-this, I’ve got dignity, I work hard in life and don’t jump at easy opportunities. I will however, suggest that you criticize your current software licensing and make sure everything is up to date, because after my report to the BSA last week (see BSA.org if you have any questions) I’m sure some very nice auditors will be knocking on your door. I would then also suggest you start taking a look at your wireless towers, because after I finish filing my numerous reports to the FCC on how you’re breaking their regulations, you’re going to need to start overloading the towers and putting more customers on them after getting hit with those $50k plus nasty fines that the FCC will start tolling out to you - per infraction I might add.

Take care, I will laugh as you continue to drive your rickety business into the ground.

Robert Norton
The 23rd Insulted Former Employee

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For those of you who might thing this is paranoid, I’m not a paranoid person myself, I don’t have anything to hide, I just want to show this person, his company, and his fellow loyalists, that they do not rule the world, let alone have control over me.

Oh and if you’re sitting there wondering why I wrote this, it is purely because I was working on the statistics portion of this site out of sheer randomness and noticed a few very recent hits from this particular employer, infact from his home DSL, so yes, if you’re reading this old-employer, I’m saying Hi, feel free to leave a comment but don’t let the door smack you flat on your ass on the way out….